The Tuk Tuk Mafia and my new GPS

My Tuk Tuk driver surreptitiously stole $34 USD from me yesterday. He was minding my bag (I should never have allowed him to mind my bag) and the money disappeared. I asked him about it, and he explained that he took the money as it was required for 'services'. 
When I asked him to itemize these services in front of the hotel clerk who spoke English and Cambodian, he couldn't, as he simply had not provided enough service. He tried to explain there was a fee for the owner of the bar we went to, and a $5 USD bag of nuts (which is ridiculous, they cost $0.50 even at tourist prices) along with some other ridiculousness.

The problem was, he'd been driving me around all day, had provided excellent service (without any of the shenanigans listed below) and as a result I'd begun to trust him more than I would have trusted any other Tuk Tuk driver.

He got given the boot as my Tuk Tuk driver for the rest of my time in Cambodia, but I never got my money back.


Here are some of the other (more minor) problems I have had with Tuk Tuk drivers. 


1. Every place I ever want to go is 'very far' and 'pay extra' material. 

2. They take you only to destinations where they want you to go, not where you actually want to go, and forget English rapidly if you voice concern. They will actually drive around in circles for 10 minutes rather than take you on a short fare to where you want to go, if where you want to go is the internet cafe around the corner.


3. They're always a dollar short on change, ALWAYS. If you stand there and smile and wait long enough without handing over a cent, an extra dollar will mysteriously appear in their wallet however for them to give you. 

4. They are seldom able to convert USD to Cambodian Riel correctly when changing money. It always works out in their favor, and I invariably need to correct their mathematics.


After much wasted time and money driving around in Tuk Tuks getting nowhere, today I decided to take advice I should have taken before leaving New Zealand, and invest in a GPS (although it took me four Tuk Tuk drivers and journeys to not find a GPS, and then I found one myself through my own exploration). Tonight I was able to walk from my Hotel, about 3km to the Meekong River, and then walk down the shore line which was tranquil. I didn't fancy the walk back, so with the aid of the GPS and armed with facts about time and distance, and a visual display with which to convince the Tuk Tuk driver I knew what I was on about, I was able to get away with a quarter of the rate I was paying for a similar journey in my first couple of days here.


At the end of the journey, with route plotting turned on, I was able to show the Tuk Tuk driver visually exactly the path he had taken, and accordingly congratulate him on it being very straight. 

Some people might say I'm being a spoilt rich westerner fighting over a dollar here and there (and spending a small fortune which very few Cambodians could afford on a GPS to do it). However I do not think that is the case. I do not mind paying  a little more so long as I can go from A to B with no hassle. When A to B involves a lot of hassle (which is normal) or becomes completely impossible half way through the journey (which is also common) I think I probably have a right to complain in any country. The other thing about the GPS is that it enables me to make a walk vs Tuk Tuk decision, and half the time, with major tourist sites in the city center walking is an entirely practical option.

Still though, sometimes I need a Tuk Tuk, so with the fraudulent personalities of Tuk Tuk drivers in mind, I have now devised a Tuk Tuk driver test. 

If I'm looking for a Tuk Tuk, I give the name of a very visible place that is only 100 meters away, just out of site (or even closer). If the Tuk Tuk driver starts developing a look of intense concentration and saying words like 'very far' 'maybe 5 kilometer', I find a new Tuk Tuk driver. If the Tuk Tuk driver points down the road towards the destination and tells me to walk, he's a keeper. This means I have to go through 15 Tuk Tuk drivers to find a keeper, but I think I found one tonight. 


I asked him where a good restaurant was. He pointed across the road to several restaurants and told me to walk. I asked if he'd had dinner. He said no so we ate together and I paid the bill. He raised the subject of corruption and how the present government and corruption were seriously impeding the development of his country. He was quite the political activist and a serious thinker. He explained how he used to have a tourism business in Batambong, but he wasn't very good at playing the game (when to say yes and when to say no to giving kick backs to the police) so he went out of business. I could feel the genuine bitterness. He told me about friends of his in New Zealand. He said I should visit them when I'm in Auckland and he gave me their details. He's going to be my Tuk Tuk driver for tomorrow.

Completely changing subject (but still sort of following a theme), apparently the following is a true story from the Cambodian Justice system:



Two people are involved in a legal dispute. The plaintiff gives the judge $6,000, the defendant gives the judge $9,000. The judge brings the two before him and says, "You've both given me money to rule in your favor." Turning to the plaintiff he says, "You've given me six thousand dollars," and then turning to the defendant he says, "and you've given me nine thousand dollars, so I'm going to return to you three thousand dollars," and looking at them both, "and judge this case on its merits."